Wednesday, February 2, 2011


i can't believe how arrogant i can be

i've experienced God's character through Christ's Love and i have made some assumptions
i've assumed that i can kinda, somewhat, sorta know what His best for us probably looks like. generally speaking, of course

i read of Jesus when He was here, the Word Incarnate. i read how He shared Life with everyone He was with
Healing, Protecting, Restoring, Feeding, Ransoming, Loving

and then i paint a picture of what can and what cannot be 'God's best' or His 'perfect will' for us, for me

O - U - C - H       O - U - C - H      O - U - C - H
     my arrogance hurts

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the LORD. “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts." Isaiah 55:8-9

what was i thinking? did i forget Job? or could i forget that verse in Romans 8 that has been quoted to me again and again for such a time as this:
Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. 27And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God. 28And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose...

and, yes.
as oftentimes, there is an echo... i hear Gene Edwards:
You are going to know your Lord by faith or you will not know Him at all. Faith in Him, trust that is in Him... not in His ways... The question is not, "Why is God doing this? Why does He not answer me? I need Him desperately, why does He not come rescue me? Why did God allow this tragedy to happen to me, to my children, to my wife, to my husband, to my family?" Nor is it, "Why does God allow injustice?"
The question before the house is this: "Will you follow a God you do not understand? Will you follow a God who does not live up to your expectations?"
Your Lord has put something in your life which you cannot bear. The burden is simply to great. He was never supposed to do this! But the question remains, "Will you continue to follow this God who did not live up to your expectations?"
                       And blessed are you if you are not
                       offended with me.  Jesus, Luke 7:23

and so i think again on the kinda, sorta, somewhat...  and i think again
the stomach virus. the woman raped. the man beaten for walking down the street. the child molested. the father killed when a bomb blew up the building he was working in. the mother with cancer...

PLEASE, don't hear what i am not saying. PLEASE, PLEASE, hear what i am saying

God is God. He is Good. He is Love.   and we live in a fallen world.
i have not forgotten what began with adam and eve and what continues with each of us
This righteousness is given through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe. There is no difference between Jew and Gentile, 23 for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, 24 and all are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus. Romans 3

i'm saying
how did i get to the place where any one thing could not be God's perfect will for the innocent child, or for a stranger i've never met, or for my friend, for my children, for me? who did i think i was to decide?

At this, Job got up and tore his robe and shaved his head. Then he fell to the ground in worship and said:
“Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked I will depart. The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away; may the name of the LORD be praised.”

His Grace. Oh, to behold His Grace. Grace.

i worship.
though i oftentimes do not understand, i know. i KNOW I AM.

Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. Through him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God. —Romans 5:1-2

may the name of the LORD be praised

linking with Emily


  1. I need the WORD of God in my life. I need it without the filters of those who think they know. I need it fresh from the breath of the Holy Spirit to my heart. Thanks

  2. a hard thought...that certain things can be Gods will...and it is a slippery slope too b/c we can start to blame him as well...but he is God and He is is Good and his thoughts are way above ours....

  3. thanks -t-...thanks for spilling it out and with so much Scripture...Ann talks about the manna, 'the mystery' in her book (are you reading?)...this makes me think of that...and i think as the brokenness is and we are His it is also a call...this made me think about what i linked this week:

    'till the lighted song rises'...i messed up with the link twice, third is a charm;)

    well, thank you for the good stuff and the questions and the WORD here:)

  4. there is so much here, so much that i wrestle with. during this season of winter, i have come to say that even if God slays me, i will follow Him. I don't understand what is happening, it doesn't make sense. but i know who God is and there is no turning back.

    i really liked how you wove the scripture together. :)

  5. PLEASE, don't hear what i am not saying

    i hear what you're saying, t, and i hear God's heart in this. it's bleeding all over the world... this is what it means to be a christian, i think... to be broken, to be spent, to be questioning and living in the reality of the pain that is life, and to be prayers as a result... very beautiful post.

  6. Sister, your post is beautiful. Love the scripture. I'm at a place where everything is about dying to myself. That's His answer. While it's ok for me have expectations, here's how it ends up:
    If my expectations are met: God gets the glory.
    If my expectations are not met: My choice is to go through the pain, trust Him more so again He gets the glory.
    Because yes, who am I to think I know what's best.
    Love you, girl!

  7. Pride, control, arrogance. Oh, I struggle with them all. But His unmerited favor covers it all. This speaks to me today.

  8. I love how you express your emotions through font. Your heart really came through here!